A Bullish Situation

Major discussion on this one, the context being a mutual friend in precisely such a situation. [The discussion last night threatened to take on a life of its own to the neglect of said friend.] Say a cow (could be bull for that matter, just for convenience sake) is upset about an issue and raises it to a bull. If bull does not give due reply or response to said issue, it would be deemed as if he didn’t care enough to do something about it. The counter-argument is if the bull doesn’t deem it an issue the way the cow does, then surely he is entitled to have his opinion on the matter and choose not to address the issue or make the necessary adjustments.

This however, isn’t ideal, since the cow remains unhappy, and the bull never gets to relate to the problem. Cow argues that the petitioner requires a response, because after all it is precisely the person with the issue who would raise the issue. The person with no problem will of course continue to see no problem at all. Without a response to the issue, no problem will ever get remedied.

Our agreed-upon analogy is a complainant approaching customer service. While the complainant may or may not be in the right, it is customer service's purview, indeed his responsibility, to redress the complaint. Failure to do so would be customer service's fault. Whether he agrees with the complainant and remedies the issue, or offers some other sweetening deal to offset the problem, is still a correct response.

I grant the ball is in the bull's court, so the speak, but why are cows so difficult...

Bull

Whose problem is it?

Now here's a situation worth a debate.
Woman isn't happy with the marriage, yup, she wants more sex, more tender moments, less arguments and tantrums, but Man, on the other hand is perfectly at bliss. The woman gives in, offers the comforts and all is well in his world.

So who's at fault?
The man for not keeping the woman happy?
Or the woman, for wanting more than what the man is willing to give?

If the woman makes a stand, she now comes across as demanding and unhappy, she's the baddie, rocking the boat, stirring shit, discontented bitch.
But why should one settle, why should the man be allowed to get complacent.
During courtship, men are willing to move heaven and earth for a smile, no? what happened?....marriage?

And in a situation as such, who needs to come begging?

Free-Range Beef

So how does one care for the opposite sex? By that of course I mean to cover all the necessary aspects of love, concern, presence, etc that make up the vitals of a relationship.

Unfortunately, there are areas a person has no reach over. While one can influence and affect all possible available time and space one has contact with with one's partner (eg. all the hours spent together, all the living space shared, all emotional connections that carry over regardless of circumstance), can one meaningfully and positively affect the other in the facets one has no reach over, such as work, or the other's family or friends?

Of course a person can ingratiate himself with his partner's friends, or family for that matter. But I don't mean to be describing his ability to present himself well - that's for his own sake. I mean what he can do to make his other half deal better, do better or even be better in whatever the other half is doing? In other words, can a man help a woman be, say, a better daughter to her parents? Can a person make it so that his partner's work situation becomes better (largely through what he does for his partner, since arguably he can't change the work scenario)? Or are we all helpless bystanders, hands tied, hopeful only in making one's partner relationship with oneself fulfilled, but no more?

Bull

Advert: looking to buy a slower lifestyle, would pay good money for extra time.

How many of us have camped in the office till the wee hours of the morning wondering if it's all worth it? We put in such long hours, yet the work never finishes. It's like a bad joke, and everyone gets it but you.

The strive for the comfortable lifestyle means we work super long hours, go home stoned out from one too many emails and drag ourselves to bed just to start again in 5 hours.

Who's actually enjoying the lifestyle we so crave?
Are there friends who actually get paid tons to work 8-hr days? Who are these people, better, who are their employers. Someone help me get out of this mad mad world!

My back hurts, my eyes are dull and dry, my throat feel like sandpaper and I haven't had time to pee for hours. The weird pressing (almost tingling) feeling in my kidneys is a common sensation, afterall I'm typing this and still no where closer to the loo. It just takes too damn long to walk the 3 mins to get there...when I return there are always 10 more emails in the inbox! It's like a conspiracy,you look away from your (finally) all blue mailbox for a sec and 20 unread mail miraculously appear. sigh.

Didn't we use to have more time when things travelled by snail mail? Are we more efficient or just more demanding, we now want to communicate EVERYTHING! Each word, each sentiment, each thought, each demand. sigh. get a life. I need one badly.

Bulls and Bears

It's far too idealistic to suppose that any given couple liked each other equally before they got together. (It is quite romantic though to think of two people encountering each other, and either straightaway, or after a developmental period of time, grew simultaneously in affection, leading to a committment.) I'm told that more often than not, one party is usually more interested, more enthusiastic than the other (not necessarily the bull, and not necessarily just in terms of courtship, but way into the relationship as well), and they end up together because the pursuer persists and receives his or her reward, and the pursued is flattered, touched, moved by such affection that he or she responds in kind.

This however, discomfits me a little, because it almost feels as if such a relationship would have begun as an unequal partnership in the first place, and its foundations more possibly tested once coupledom status quo is established such that the once-pursuer needn't try so hard (or at all) and the once-pursued still never having to worry about putting the requisite effort into the dynamics. This makes for a worst-case "What I thought I wanted isn't really what I want" in-your-face reality vs "I never wanted this in the first place" defensive retreat.

Problem from the very start?

Bull

To touch or not to touch, that is the question

haha, come on....What's the beef over cuddles in bed? Everyone. Really. It's the most boring form of fore-play (if it's even fore-play at all), it's yucky after sex (eeew, sweaty, stinky bods) and it's pointless before sleep (won't a good nite kiss suffice?)

I cannot sleep with someone's breath in my face so cuddling is out. I hate restriction of movements so spooning is out (what if I wanna turn about?) and what's with the touching of feet and hands stuff? Are we that insecure? Really!? Sheezzz, just bloody go to sleep for god's sake! Sleep is precious, beautiful and necessary man.

Spooning in the mornings are acceptable though. That I like. It's a beautiful reminder of having woken up with someone you love next to you. And I do recommend spooning (no one needs to suffer the other's morning breath)to cuddling here. Nothing beats slipping into consciousness cocooned in someone's big happy arms (and sometimes big heavy legs, such fun!).

So cows sleep standing, but once in a while we bend over to accommodate.
ZZZ...